Mmm, Reindeer!
by Darkday Chaos
Summary: [One Shot] Luffy's hungry, Chopper's missing, and Sanji pleads guilty.


_Don't be suprised, Horor/Humor is my style. Totaly legit. I must confess, this is one of my favorite works... I hope you like it!  
_

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**Mmm, Reindeer!**

Luffy was hungry. Again. So what if it had only been half an hour since he had last eaten?

He wanted meat. Again. So what if he always wanted meat? He liked candy too, so it wasn't like he never ate anything else. He also liked rum. Most of the time. Zoro had let him have some once.

Well, leaving it where Luffy could get at it technicaly didn't count as giving it to him, but that was a moot point.

Zoro never found out about that anyway.

Sanji was getting meat at the village they had docked at. Luffy wished he would hurry up. It was getting boring. His limbs sagged dejectedly off the Going Merry's sheep head and his chin rested on the nose, looking for all the seas like a squashed bug. He wanted to play with Zoro, but Zoro only played when no one else was around, except Chopper sometimes. Luffy stood up and was about to devise a complex plan to see just how far he could stretch, when lemon hair came up from behind a hill and walked towards the ship. Slowly. Really. Really. Slowly.

"SANJIIWANTMEATNOWHURRYUP!"

Then, for some reason, Sanji was right there on the ship. He had seemed so far away!

"Sorry, Luffy, they didn't have meat in any of the shops." Sanji closed his eyes in an It-couldn't-be-helped expression.

Luffy's jaw dropped the the ground.

"Naaaaa-AAAANNIIII?"

"Sorry," Sanji said again, shrugging. He grew devil horns and a forked tail as he disapeared into the galley, his lemon hair spiked evily.

Luffy ran into the Hammok Room, where he knew Zoro was pretending to be sleeping.

"ZOROTHERE'SNOFOODWE'REGONNASTARVE!"

Lime hair appeared from under the blanket and Zoro looked up at him, pretending to be annoyed.

"Didn't that Love Cook go shopping in town?" Zoro asked, pretending to be groggy from sleep.

"YEA-aahh, but there's no MEAT!"

"So? There will probably be meat at the next island. It's only three days from here, didn't you hear Nami? You'll be fine until then." Zoro grew devil horns and a forked tail as he rolled over and pretended to go to sleep, his lime hair turned into flames.

Luffy groaned in exasperation.

---

By the time the sun rose again, they had set sail and everyone was a demon.

Luffy was still hungry after lunch, and HE STILL WANTED MEAT.

"Sanji I NEED meat! You have to make some for me. I order you as the captain."

Sanji's blue scaly demon tail twitched in agravation.

"Luffy, I would make you some if there was any. But there's not. So I can't cook any."

"...Huh?"

"I would if I could but I can't so I won't!"

"You mean, we don't have any meat at ALL? Not just none from that town? ARGGHH! I won't have any food for TWO DAYS"

---

A couple hours later, Usopp walked down the hall. Luffy was being difficult again. It was only a few days, and it wasn't like there was nothing to eat at all. Not like the time when he, The Great Captain Usopp, had to go for nine days on a dessert island with nothing but cacti! There were fire-breathing scorpions a mile high that he had to fight off with only a shoe and a rock! It was impossible to survive, but being the genius that he was, he soon discovered a cave that led to-

He stopped in his tracks.

Had he heard a voice from the kitchen? It wasn't nearly time for dinner, so Sanji shouldn't've been cooking yet. Maybe the gremlins from the previous island had snuck abord while no one was looking! Then it was up to The Brave Captain Usopp to fight them off and throw them overboard!

His hand had almost reached the handle when he heard the voice again.

"Hello, Tony-kun." That was Sanji's voice. Was it just him or did it have a malicious tone to it?

"Oh, hey Sanji," Chopper's voice. "How are- Ah, Sanji? Sanji? What is- What are you- NO... no, Sanji! AAHHH!"

A sudden dull thud. The screaming stopped. Usopp bolted.

---

By the time dinner came around, Luffy was really unhappy. And hungry.

But what he saw on the table made him completely forget about that.

"MEAT!"

Luffy knew Sanji hadn't been lying when he said that there was no meat at the island, but Luffy didn't care where it had come from. Sanji's tail and horns disappeared, and his lemon hair went back to normal as he set the table. Once Luffy started eating, everyone else on the ship turned back into normal, too.

"Hey Sanji." Nami's tangerine hair hung around her face as she looked at the meat.

"YES, Nami-swan?" Sanji turned into a puppy dog.

"Is this... reindeer meat? That's what it tastes like."

"Do you like it? I cooked it especialy for you and Robin-chwan! ...And for Luffy so he would stop bugging me." Sanji added and wasn't a puppy dog anymore.

"It's delicious as always, Sanji-kun, but... ah, nevermind." Nami shook her head and continued to eat.

"Hey. Where's Chopper?" Zoro asked, pretending not to care.

"He, ah, couldn't make it to dinner."

Luffy stopped eating. Olive hair swished out of the way of Robin's eyes so she could look at him.

"Is something wrong, Captain-san?"

What a silly question! Of course something was wrong. There was no meat on the ship. Chopper didn't come to dinner. Sanji was the only one who knew where Chopper was. Sanji was a cook. Chopper was a reindeer. They were eating reindeer for dinner. That meant...

Luffy stood up without a word, his straw hat hiding his eyes.

"Don't lie, Sanji." It didn't matter what he looked like now.

Sanji stepped back unconsiously.

Zoro's hand had wandered to a katana hilt.

Nami tensed. Usopp's blackberry hair shook as he gulped.

"A... Alright. I won't." Sanji promised.

"Did you make meat for dinner because of me?" The captain's voice gave hint of no single emotion.

"Hai, Luffy..."

"Where is Chopper?"

"He- He's in the kitchen, but I wouldn't-" He trailed off.

Luffy entered the kitchen alone. He coudln't see anything at first, but then he walked to the other side of the room, he could see a little bit of chocolate fur. It was Chopper, but he was on the floor, not moving. Luffy poked him in the side.

"Hey. Chopper. Wake up."

Nothing. He poked harder.

"Wake up, Chopper! HEY CHOPPER!"

Finally the reindeer moved. He let out a weak groan and stared up at Luffy with big eyes. Luffy grinned and sat cross-legged in front of him.

"So why'ya sleeping on the floor, huh?"

"I can't remember..."

"Come on, let's go eat."

"Okay." Chopper stopped and sniffed the air.

"Wait... is that-?" He followed his nose to the galley where everyone was sitting, Luffy right behind him. He looked at the food on the table.

"Are you guys- is that- that's rei- YOU GUYS ARE EATING R-? NO... AAHHH!" he fainted with a sudden dull thud.

Luffy happily re-took his place at the table and resumed eating.

Usopp laughed nervously. "So that's what I heard!"

"Hey Luffy." Sanji's lemon hair almost seemed to droop as he turned into a sad-faced puppy. "I'm sorry. For lying about the town not having any meat. I was trying to get you to stop eating so much of it."

"It's alright, Sanji, I knew you were lying anyway."

**Owari**


End file.
